people never pick me.

Listen to this on a loop: click

is late, 1 am.

I’m sleepy but for some reason I find that my neurons behave better at this time, when everything is dark and there not so much noise.

I hate noise.

but then again, im listening to music trying to drown the silence. is idiotic but that’s the way I function.

I was going to make goals for this upcoming month but lets laugh about them now because we know that’s not gonna happen, at least not all of them. there so much I need to work on that is hard to pick one and then try to focus on work on one specific thing, because that is the main problem – picking one single thing to focus on.

anywho.

who?

No one is there, no one is on the other side.

Still unable to retain interested people in my life, well theres some that have opened up but im tired. I don’t like to show myself the reasons I kept myself isolated all this time. people have a way to show me how right I am. no surprises there, nothing can surprise you when you have seen how people destroy each other and then pretend they like each other, pick a side or make up your goddamn mind.

You hate such person, then stick to it!

Bunch of judases.

Theres so much to offload right now but is like my fingers can’t write fast enough. see what I mean about the am’s being the right time for some brain dumping. is just flowing like a river.

you know I can stick to a topic. is the voices, they tell me that such and such are far more important to write about but then, if there was a way that I could just canalize one idea and then focus on that one, seeeee I can’t even try.

umm –

scrunching my face so hard.

My. mind is blaaank!

Is scary, when I am this happy. I swear, i’m waiting for life to punch me in the face so hard. but maybe is because I have taken myself out the conversation that’s going on all around me. avoiding chaos, there should me some sort of master class and I could teach a few classes. Maybe some kind of TA. How can I smell the fart before the shit starts? Also my mouth, wow. I been running my mouth so much.

I think I’m having some sort of manic episode.

Or is it the coffee?